I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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