barbara walters just said penis...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
