My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
