Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
stop calling my apartment porn island.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
