i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
