At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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