ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I am one with the molecules
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
