hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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