even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
