I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
another moral hangover. fuck.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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