I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Betty ford says i'm here all night
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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