You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
