i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
