Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
