just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
