So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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