what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
