you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
