somebody snuck up and got me drunk
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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