He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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