We're facebook friends in real life
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I will pee on everything he values.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
