what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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