tequila makes me forget i have legs
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize