I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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