ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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