did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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