drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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