you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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