this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
