she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So gin and wine won't be happening again
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
