Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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