first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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