And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
