I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
