Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
