i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
