well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
