God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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