The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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