Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
