just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
