I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
