you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
