I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
