It's like God shit irony all over that family
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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