I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
