I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
