Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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