thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish i was in the wii world.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
