I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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