he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
