I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
