Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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