i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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