Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
