You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
