i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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