After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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