i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
