now i know why i became what i already was.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
