She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
