I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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