That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
